Grief is a Journey, Not a Destination

By Elaine Williams

There are days you sit in a chair and stare out the window because living seems to take too much energy. Even to think about what to make for dinner is an all-consuming task. It can be daunting, feeling as if there is nothing in this world that will ever hold your interest again. The mail order catalog with the Valentine’s Day gifts is a reminder there won’t be any lover’s keepsakes. No hiding in the cabinet those chocolate and peanut butter eggs my husband, gone two years, used to enjoy. How small and silly a thought, but how big a rip in my heart. Read more

When the Memories Come Without Pain

When the Memories Come Without Pain
By Eaine Williams
My youngest son was eleven when his father died. For the longest time he would cling to me when we were parting company, giving hugs and more hugs. I know this was his way of working through the loss of his father and I knew that eventually this phase would pass. Many times he would talk about things he and his father and brothers had done and this too seemed to help him move through his grief. There were times he just didn’t want to talk to me about anything, but usually this was rare. I remember picking up his wallet one day and inside he had some old driver’s licenses that had belonged to his father. He also kept his father’s old bright orange work shirts and wore those for the longest time. One of them said, “I survived the blizzard of 1993.” This was particularly humorous since my son was born in 1992. Read more

Why We Need to Talk About Grief

By Elaine Williams

According to the U.S Census Bureau, there are approximately 700,000 new widows every year. To me, this is staggering, and I never thought I’d be a statistic.

I’ve been asked many times if I wrote A Journey Well Taken: Life After Loss while my husband was ill. As a caretaker, and even though I have been a writer for as long as I can recall, writing was the last thing on my mind while he was sick. It wasn’t until two and a half years after his death that I decided to put my thoughts down in concrete form, since during this time I was having a hard time emotionally. Loneliness seemed to have engulfed me and was kicking me in the butt. Many days I had a difficult time getting past the grief that enveloped me. Read more

The Widow’s Guide - Surviving the Loss of a Mate

By Jane Costello

Life after a death. Tools for surviving the loss of a mate. Short and simple steps that help redefine who you are.

W = Was- Life as you knew it, Isn’t anymore. Your job, Like it or not, Is to remake it.

I = Independent - I was independent before but that was because I knew I had backup at home at the end of the day. Now you must be independent on your own and be your own backup. No negative self talk. You can’t afford it!

D = Determination, Details, Do it! Death has nothing to do with your life now. It’s how you got here but “Let it Go”! Read more

A Widow Shares

I am a 32yr old Widow. I was almost 28 at the time of my husbands death due to a tragic car accident and just into my third month of marriage. This September would be a celebration of our 5yr wedding anniversary. Although, it is only July, I am having bitter-sweet memories & tear as that was the happiest day of my life. I was told by a friend last week that I basically shouldn’ be crying anymore! What??? The tears/sadness aren’t like they used to be, my pain is less often than the one year, two year, etc. I am getting out and wanting to meet men again, but I know I will always remember my husband. We were together many years before marrying and it isn’t something I can pretend didn’t happen. Right? I attended a grief group, counselors, specialists, etc. I know it’s ok to remember him and say his name. However his family doesnâ’ see it that way. I really don’t have much connection with our circle of friend couples either. I would just like to hear what someone from the outside has to say. I told my friend that I would never wish this on anyone, but you don’t know how I’m supposed to react until you’ve walked in my shoes. Believe me, I have made great progress & smile when I have a memory of him, etc. I was so lucky to have been his wife, even if it was for a little while. Thank you!

For Widows Only–6 Ways To Have A Happier New Year

Happy New Year! Yeah, I know. You’re thinking what’s with this writer? Life sucks without Him by your side. How dare she use the H word and wish me a Happy New Year.

Well, I feel your pain. Really, I do, because I am a widow, too. But, I’m here to tell you, everything will be alright. No, it won’t be like it was before He left. But yes, you can and you will get through 2007–With a smile. Read more

For Widows Only-You Know You’re A Widow When

At the end of a good day you bust out crying for no particular reason.

At the end of a bad day you burst out laughing for no particular reason.

At the end of everyday, you crawl into bed and sleep on His side.

You refuse to throw away His toothbrush, His razor, His bar of soap. Because you think He’ll need them. Read more

LOSS and LOVE: Transcending the Loss of a Spouse to New Love

The unimaginable has happened; you are a widow or widower. Mourning your loss has been the focus of your life for the past year or two. Finally, as you begin to surface from your profound grief, with a deep breath and lot or a little trepidation you find yourself falling in love again. Is this new relationship fraught with landmines? You bet! Here are important stepping stones to help keep you afloat along the way, Dos and Don’ts as it were for widows/widowers beginning a new, loving relationship. Read more

LOSS: When the Heart Heals…A Widow’s Story

At this point, widowed for about 18 months, I met Hal the night I attended my last bereavement support group meeting. I was instantly attracted to his energy. We seemed to have a lot in common, both professionally and emotionally. I gave him my business card with the knowing feeling that he would call, but I had no idea if it would be in a week or a year. I hold a life’s philosophy that things happen when they should. Read more

LOSS and LOVE: Love Revisited…Helpful Do’s & Don’ts for the Widow/Widower Embracing New Love

Is it possible to mourn the loss of a beloved spouse and, while still grieving, to not only meet someone special, but fall in love and begin to build a new relationship?

Is it possible to mourn the loss of a beloved spouse and, while still grieving, to not only meet someone special, but fall in love and begin to build a new relationship that includes a commitment to sharing your lives? Can we overlap our loving and our grieving? The answer is a profound: YES! But, to smooth the path, keep these helpful Dos and Donts in mind: Read more

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