http://opentohopedeathofaspouse.com Thu, 18 Jun 2009 18:28:53 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Ever since my late wife died, I've had a hard time reading fiction where the main character is a widow or widower. Though the authors try hard, most of them don't do a good job of capturing what it's like to lose a spouse. Oh sure, most of them ... http://opentohopedeathofaspouse.com/death-of-a-spouse/dealing-with-grief/featured-articles/book-review-sea-changes-by-gail-graham/ We're right in the middle of baseball season. One of our family's favorite pastimes was to attend the Giants games at the old Candlestick Park in San Francisco, where we'd shiver in the bleachers as we cheered on our team. I still picture Steve with his Giants' cap, Giants' sweatshirt, ... http://opentohopedeathofaspouse.com/death-of-a-spouse/contributing-authors/taking-baby-steps-on-the-grief-journey/ In response to "From a Plea for Help," Julie Z. wrote:  My husband died about 1.5 years ago, I continue to cry daily. He was everything to me. I am so tired of being so alone. I miss him so very much. Why did someone so wonderful need to go? I pray ... http://opentohopedeathofaspouse.com/death-of-a-spouse/contributing-authors/will-i-ever-find-me-again-new-roles-after-the-death-of-a-spouse/ Julie asks: I recently began dating a widower who told me his wife died a year ago. I've just learned she actually died 4 months ago. I like this man very much and we enjoy each other's company. I don't know details of how long she was ill, but he ... http://opentohopedeathofaspouse.com/death-of-a-spouse/dealing-with-grief/featured-articles/should-i-dump-the-widower-im-dating/ I'm a big believer in fortune cookies.  In fact, I've long thought that if read very loudly -- so that everyone else in the restaurant can hear -- the fortunes will come true!  I don't know if there is any way to scientifically prove my theory, but I do like ... http://opentohopedeathofaspouse.com/death-of-a-spouse/contributing-authors/an-egg-today-or-a-hen-tomorrow-our-choices-in-grief/ Dating again after the death of a spouse can be an awkward experience. It can bring out feelings of guilt and betrayal for the person dating again. It can also bring out feelings of confusion and concern from friends, family, and those who were close to the deceased spouse. If ... http://opentohopedeathofaspouse.com/death-of-a-spouse/dealing-with-grief/featured-articles/10-dating-tips-for-widows-and-widowers/ Responding to  How Do I Cope After the Death of My Husband?, Annalise wrote:  "When does the pain ease off??  Two months today and getting worse." Beverly Chantalle McManus, Grief Companion, responds:  Annalise, first of all, please accept my deepest compassion for your loss.  The death of a spouse is one ... http://opentohopedeathofaspouse.com/death-of-a-spouse/contributing-authors/natures-remedy-allowing-the-universe-to-embrace-us-in-our-pain-and-need/ Yes, I missed Steve's voice, his laugh, his footsteps on the stairs, and even his snoring.  But after he died, I was unprepared for the depth of how much I missed his physical intimacy -- the simple human touches we shared almost unconsciously through 20 years of marriage:  ...casually brushing against ... http://opentohopedeathofaspouse.com/death-of-a-spouse/contributing-authors/%e2%80%9ci-need-a-hug%e2%80%9d-%e2%80%93-coping-with-loss-of-intimacy-after-the-death-of-your-spouse/ Responding to Ten Things Every New Widow Should Know to Survive, Jean writes:  I just lost my husband on 2/23/09. He passed away at the airport before taking the trip to the East Coast for the new job training. That was his first day of the new job since he ... http://opentohopedeathofaspouse.com/death-of-a-spouse/death-of-spouse/young-widows/everything-seems-so-unreal-coping-with-unexpected-death/ Over the past six years since Steve's death, in grief workshops and counseling sessions, I've talked with hundreds of other widows and widowers, as well as others whose loved ones have died.  One of the most common hurdles to leap over in the grief and loss process is writing thank ... http://opentohopedeathofaspouse.com/death-of-a-spouse/contributing-authors/writing-thank-you-notes-after-the-funeral-what-to-say-how-to-get-it-done/