My Life: Seven Years Later

November 19, 2008 by Abel Keogh  
Filed under Abel Keogh, Contributing Authors, For Widowers, Men and Grief

November tenth is a day that creeps up on me now.

It wasn’t always this way.

In past years it was a day heavy with memories, emotions, and unanswered questions.

Now it’s a day just like any other.

This year it wasn’t until after lunch that I looked at the calendar in my office and noted the date. Suddenly, I realized what day it was. I pushed my laptop to the side and looked out the window at the green grass and sunshine. In seconds the memory of hearing a gunshot from our bedroom and finding my late wife’s lifeless body flashed through my mind followed by a tinge of the raw terror that flowed through my body that afternoon.

But it lasted only a moment.

Then, just as fast, my mind flashed through the seven years of my life since that afternoon. Marrying Marathon Girl. The birth of two sons and a daughter. Buying a house. Having my first book published.

And I found myself smiling.

Smiling at the choices I made that put me on the path to a new life. Smiling at the thought that with this tragedy came an opportunity to start and a chance to become a better and stronger person. Smiling that I conquered grief, misery, and depression.

With happy thoughts in my head, I returned to work.

After work there were no side trips to the cemetery or participation in any kind of commemoration on my late wife’s death. Instead I went home and ate dinner with the family, played with my kids then helped put them to bed, fixed a bathroom sink for Marathon Girl, and wrote a chapter for my next novel before going to bed.

It was a busy day full of all the people and things that make up my new, happy life.

I wouldn’t have spent it any other way.

Comments

One Response to “My Life: Seven Years Later”

  1. John O'Connor on December 1st, 2008 2:12 am

    Abel,

    I have been listening to you talk to Rick and Les on an old Free Capitalist show and just wanted to acknowledge you for what you have done, how you have gone through life and especially for your sharing of it to create value for many others. One of my best old buddies took his own life in the most dramatically awful way, I think it was 6 years ago now. The shock and devastation to his adolescent kids and his ex-wife was profound. I will send this link to my friend Annie Phillips to perhaps share with her daughters. I have done all I could for them at the time, mostly just to be there as I could through a very hard time with no clear “how to” path.

    Thanks for all you have done and are doing Abel-

    I got to know Ray like 8 years ago- then Les in 2005, Garrett in 2006 from the holistic economics based Leap learning community, then after the crash, Rick K, Gabe and you Free Capitalist team players. As I learn to create more value by helping people see past the BS of their financial blindness I know that contributions of great people like you help inform and increase my human life value- Thank you again for sharing it Abel! Merry Christmas and congratulations on the good life you held yourself open for as you walked through your own unique version of grief. If you ever get out to LA know you have a friend and look me up if it works out.

    with great appreciation for the value creator you have led yourself to be………John

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