LOSS: When the Heart Heals…A Widow’s Story

At this point, widowed for about 18 months, I met Hal the night I attended my last bereavement support group meeting. I was instantly attracted to his energy. We seemed to have a lot in common, both professionally and emotionally. I gave him my business card with the knowing feeling that he would call, but I had no idea if it would be in a week or a year. I hold a life’s philosophy that things happen when they should. Read more

LOSS and LOVE: Love Revisited…Helpful Do’s & Don’ts for the Widow/Widower Embracing New Love

Is it possible to mourn the loss of a beloved spouse and, while still grieving, to not only meet someone special, but fall in love and begin to build a new relationship?

Is it possible to mourn the loss of a beloved spouse and, while still grieving, to not only meet someone special, but fall in love and begin to build a new relationship that includes a commitment to sharing your lives? Can we overlap our loving and our grieving? The answer is a profound: YES! But, to smooth the path, keep these helpful Dos and Donts in mind: Read more

For the New Widow — What We Worry About

We are alone. And we worry about that.
We worry we will die alone.

We buried our life partner. And now we worry about who will bury us?
Who will walk our dogs, who will feed our cats when we’re gone? Read more

For Widows Only — Three Secret Things To Guide You

You’re home now — From the cemetery — Just closed the door on an endless line of well-wishing-filled-with-advice strangers who didn’t know what to say but talked endlessly anyway, and now that they’re gone you know you will never see or hear from most of them ever again.

Your hair smells of roses and gladioli and you secretly wish for a giant eraser to erase all the pain.

You’ve just buried your life partner; your husband, your best friend. As Joan Didion says, “Life changes fast.” Read more

For the Newly Widowed:Top Ten Tacky Things People Will Say to You and Ten Ways You Can React to Them

The funeral is over.

You’ve written ten thousand checks, signed your name ten thousand times to ten thousand thank you notes, and ten thousand times you wished you were dead.

The sight of your mailman, FTD, and friendly neighbor reduces you to tears. Read more

When The Cell Phone Stops Ringing

My wife, Bobbie, and I, were not big fans of the cell phone in the beginning, but we did communicate at least twice a day or night. I was a swing shift worker. She was a day shifter. Earlier in our marriage, we used beepers or pagers. They could get irritating without a voice to deal with, but the price was much cheaper. Then there was the problem of finding a phone to answer the beep. But, all that’s said and done, any communication was helpful, and we were thankful for that. Read more

For Widows Only –What We Want/What We Don’t Want

We want our husbands back.

We don’t want your husband, your son, your father, your grandfather, or your cousin’s next door neighbor’s husband, her son, her father, or her grandfather.

If we ask the simple question, “how is he doing” That’s all we mean. We may not want to be alone, but we never want to wreck a home. Read more

For Widows Only — Who We Are

We are women left.

We experienced the best of times; The worst of times. And survived.

We discovered the meaning of life — Nothing like the loss of a spouse to wake us up to that. Read more

For The New Widow - Three Things To Remember - When The Moon In The Sky Hits Like An Axe In The Eye

It’s the end of the day, the end of the week, the end of the month.

The cat’s in the cradle and the dog’s in the yard.

Or, is it the other way around?

You peel one last sticky stamp off a roll, place it on one last envelope, breathe one soft sigh of relief and like a kid with a cupcake, you congratulate yourself for getting through — One more day, one more week, one more month, maybe one more year — Without Him. Read more

For the New Widow - Deal Yourself a Deck of Joy - 52 Ways to Manage Your Grief

Your husband is dead. It is your first thought in the morning as you get out of bed and your last thought at the end of the day. You sleep alone. You sit at the breakfast table sipping coffee alone, and stare at an empty chair. Change is difficult and you wonder can you accept the hand life has dealt you.

You can. You will. Think new deck of cards. Think one card at a time. Read more